Get Straight Programs: A sin or not a sin?

I was just wondering, this is a question that W and I talk about often. We both are from very conservative church backgrounds. I was Baptist and she was from an evangelical non-denominational church (just as scary as southern baptists) Now, when I first met W some 9 years ago, she was already in a relationship with her X but they were DEEP in the closet. I remember that on one of the very first times we got together as friends, the subject of homosexuality came up. I told her that I just wasn't sure what I thought about it, not sure it was really wrong, not sure if it was a choice, etc. She did not tell me she was gay, but in fact played devil's advocate as to why the Bible did state that it was wrong. We had an interesting discussion that night. A couple of weeks after that, she told me she was in fact gay and that she had struggled with her faith. She had been in leadership at her church when "IT" happened. She and her X had gone to counseling and tried to quit what they were doing. She even went through one of those "get straight" programs. I believe that she was testing me out to see if I would condemn her or not - at that time she was very careful who she told since she'd been excommunicated (more or less) from this church she loved so much, and didn't always trust friends either. So, over the next few years, we became much closer friends, she became like a favorite aunt to my kids, and a very close family friend of me and my X. She and her partner would come over to cook out or hang out nearly every weekend.

Incidentally, her partner was still in the closet all this time. W never told her that I knew they were gay. No one talked about it and they never showed affection in front of us.

I would go out every Thursday night for my "girls night" and my X went out once a week with his friends. On Thursday nights W and I would have great theological and deep discussions about this question. I always told her that she was one of the best people I'd ever known, kind to people, generous, giving and caring, non-judgemental, befriending society's off casts... how could who she loved matter that much. Would God condemn her for this while she was such a good person? Would that one thing about herself carry more weight somehow? I mean, why is that any more wrong than being greedy with your money or looking down on someone else, not helping the less fortunate? Human beings are just that, human. We are all no better at "being good" than the next. And was it really a sin in the first place? I mean, when the Bible talked about homosexuality being a sin, wasn't it really talking about the behavior in Sodom and Gomorrah, not a committed loving relationship? These were things that I helped her work through over the years. I took her to my little Methodist church that is more liberal than most. I told her that she could still be a good christian and be gay. After a while, we were able to reconcile our beliefs together. It wasn't until Nov. of 05 that we kissed and our world changed so quick.

Funny, all that talking I did to help her "be ok" with being gay, I guess it was preparing me for being gay too.

Maybe this has not been a struggle for some of you. I think growing up in the South and the Bible belt gives you a big ole Southern fried guilt trip. But if any of you have struggled with this, please weigh in on the subject. I've found a few websites I'll share that challenge the mainstream beliefs about the bible if any one is interested.

L

Am I a sucker?

I just ordered this weight loss tea for 37....some odd dollars. am I crazy or what? I am desparate for a few pounds to come off my waist, that's what. W will kill me.

More Pics

I thought I'd put some quick pictures of us on.
wish I knew how to do captions.
left is me and WB
right is SB
bottom left is W and friend S
bottom right is me
done for now. I think I've blogged my share today.
More tomorrow.
L

To clarify

That picture, the one just below of me and my son, that's SB, sweet boy, as I called him in my 100 things. I could not figure out how to add a caption so I wanted ya'll to know that. I may post more pictures later of both SB and WB.

A reason to be thankful and kiss my babies, (as if I needed a reason)

Well folks, I have to tell you about a worrisome development that happened on Tuesday. My youngest son was with his dad. He woke up in the morning and couldn’t walk straight. His legs were all wobbly and he kept falling. After deciding that he was not faking it, my XH called and said he was taking him to the doctor. He had asked a neighbor to look and she agreed. This worried me. Now XH was/is I suppose about the most alarmist person I’ve ever known. He will make a big deal out of nothing. He took the older one for a catscan once after he was hit with a baseball. It was a black eye. No weird eye crossing thing, no dizziness, nothing. He rushed him to the ER and paid for a catscan and nearly scared the kid to death.

Anyway, I digress. After the neighbor said he should take him, I worried. Of course I met him down there and the doctor examined him. They asked if he’d had a virus in the last couple of weeks. I said no. So they did send him for the catscan, thank goodness. I was starting to panic. His balance was off, that could mean a brain tumor. Those of you who know me, know that recently my friends little boy had a headache one day. She took him and withing 2 hours found out he had a huge tumor in his brain and they did surgery within 48 hours. It was indeed cancer, and it was a rare aggressive tumor that no one knows how to treat. It is usually found in adults, and they rarely make it. The prognosis is not good for him. I had all that swirling in my mind and I just felt sick. I can’t imagine what people go through who have their kids get really sick. The doctor was very worried too. Luckily, the scan came back normal. They diagnosed him with cerebral atoxia. It is a condition where, after certain viruses, the antibodies get into the middle ear and cause vertigo. It can last for a couple of weeks to months before it goes away. Leave it to us to have a strange illness that the doctor has only seen once so far this year. My little one is very sick and dizzy. But other than that, he is fine. They ran bloodwork etc and I bugged them about anything else it could be. I hope he’ll be feeling better soon. But I tell you, it makes you thankful. I love him so much. I love them both, but he’s my youngest and there is a special baby place in my heart for him. He will always be my baby. He still has that really soft cuddly baby quality to him. I wish I could kiss those cheeks right now.
W is watching him for me while I come to my dead end job. I guess it’s still a paycheck though.

Now stop reading this and go kiss your babies, human or 4 legged ones.

Later,
L

A busy day

I had such a busy day at work today, could not read blogs like I want. But at least the day went by fast. I spent the first part of the day feeling very distressed about my weight gain. I have put back all the weight that I'd lost during my going through hell anxiety because I was gay/getting divorced/went through 3 jobs in a year/worried the jerk XH would take me to court and I'd get a bigotted judge/ all of that caused me to be extremely anxious, thus losing weight. Now the anxiety/fear is gone, I'm settling in seeing that I'll be ok, the kids will be ok, and presto: Weight returns..... but I'll take that over anxiety from hell any day. And to think ladies, I didn't even take any drugs to get through it (though I should have) .......

Paintings

I though you might like to see some paintings I've been working on lately. The mermaid coffee cup canvas is available at my etsy shop.