Social problems with lesbians

Ok, JL and I have been wondering as of late.... Does anyone else notice the weirdness in the lesbian social arena? I mean, for lack of finding a better way of putting it, the lesbians around here are just flat out unsociable. We go to the one lesbian bar that we know of and ... my gosh... those women are scary! They are either in a group and they all know each other, obviously, and would rather not speak or even look at you. Or they look to be "on the prowl" and most of them are scary, like, drunk, mean looking and seem crazy. I don't mean to sound bad here, I would give them a chance, but they don't seem to want to talk to us. I have to admit, we both look like a couple of soccer moms. I have not quite yet managed to find my perfect blended look in my new found lesbianism. That perfect blend of girly yet enough of a dykey look to seem like I fit in. Ya know what I mean? Maybe I need to work on my image. Or maybe we should give up on finding other couples to be friends with. We have a lot of straight friends who are great. But, you know, we still need a little more lesbian in our life, so as not to feel like were such a different breed.
Give me some advice, anybody? I'd love it.
for now,
L