The job(s) are going well. Boys are so busy with soccer and stuff. Tonight we go to an art opening where W's ex and her new girlfriend will be. This will be the first time we will all be in the same room. W has "sheilded" her ex from our relationship being thrown in her face for about a year now and it is time to break the ice and get it all out there, so to speak. I think her ex is fine, although she does not bother speaking to me when she bring the dogs over to stay with W and I. I know this hurt her, but it's been a year and she is dating one of the lesbian queens in M. A huge step in the direction of healthiness for her. She was in the closet even with close friends forever. Now she is able to date the lesbian queen. That is so good, so I think she can handle seeing me and W at the opening. It is an opening at the lesbian queen's place of business so i know they'll be there, and we're art teachers so we were invited. Wish me luck. I would like it if we could all be friendly and dare I say, friends - but I doubt if that could happen as T thinks I stole W away, thats right, I drug her by her hair kicking and screaming right? Not. W left on her own free will, in fact I told W several times maybe she should stay with T, but W could not.
Anyway, here's to all our exes...... I'll update tomorrow if I can.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Finally
I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. I promise to try to be a better blogger.
I have been really busy for the last few weeks. I started my new job as an elementary art teacher on Oct 22nd and it has been great. I was so scared to make this job change, but I tried to trust that I could do it, and sure enough, it seems it was the right decision. (remind me I said that later when I say I can't stand it anymore because the kids break out in a fight or I can't get control)
I arrived at the school which is in the inner city of Memphis, and everyone was so nice to me and glad to have me there. For the most part, the kids are great. They are very hungry for art as most of them have never taken an art class at all. They Ooo and Aaah over the simplest things I draw on the board and say "she's good. She must be a real artist." They also point at me in the hall and their faces light up when they see their art teacher. I get hugs all day long and all the kids want to stay in my class and never leave. Not a bad way to earn a paycheck, huh? On top of all that, I'm home by 4 on most days. I know I'm still in the honeymoon of this job and it won't always be this good, but for now, I am lovin it! W also started as an art teacher at another city school. She is also having a good time. Both our principals seem to be nice and helpful, and all the other teachers are nice. Memphis is a very divided city along race lines, and you see it no more clearly than in the school system. My school is an all African American school as is W's, but they seem to be accepting us "crackers" just fine.
Thank you Nerdgirl for asking about how I was, and I will try to update a lot more often, though I can't promise every day.
I leave you with some pictures from our recent mostly lesbian Halloween party. We made some new friends I had mentioned before, and we had them over for a party. Fun was had by all. Gay and straight alike. It's nice to know you can sometimes mix your friends up at a party and it will turn out ok. Lots of beer and margaritas never hurts that situation though.
Our friend S didn't show up for our party though. Better come next time S.
I have been really busy for the last few weeks. I started my new job as an elementary art teacher on Oct 22nd and it has been great. I was so scared to make this job change, but I tried to trust that I could do it, and sure enough, it seems it was the right decision. (remind me I said that later when I say I can't stand it anymore because the kids break out in a fight or I can't get control)
I arrived at the school which is in the inner city of Memphis, and everyone was so nice to me and glad to have me there. For the most part, the kids are great. They are very hungry for art as most of them have never taken an art class at all. They Ooo and Aaah over the simplest things I draw on the board and say "she's good. She must be a real artist." They also point at me in the hall and their faces light up when they see their art teacher. I get hugs all day long and all the kids want to stay in my class and never leave. Not a bad way to earn a paycheck, huh? On top of all that, I'm home by 4 on most days. I know I'm still in the honeymoon of this job and it won't always be this good, but for now, I am lovin it! W also started as an art teacher at another city school. She is also having a good time. Both our principals seem to be nice and helpful, and all the other teachers are nice. Memphis is a very divided city along race lines, and you see it no more clearly than in the school system. My school is an all African American school as is W's, but they seem to be accepting us "crackers" just fine.
Thank you Nerdgirl for asking about how I was, and I will try to update a lot more often, though I can't promise every day.
I leave you with some pictures from our recent mostly lesbian Halloween party. We made some new friends I had mentioned before, and we had them over for a party. Fun was had by all. Gay and straight alike. It's nice to know you can sometimes mix your friends up at a party and it will turn out ok. Lots of beer and margaritas never hurts that situation though.
Our friend S didn't show up for our party though. Better come next time S.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
I will Survive!
I know some of you may have heard this, but I have finally decided to take the job as a school art teacher in the public schools here. It has been a decision full of difficulty for me. I saw it as a great opportunity, but it was another job change for me. I have not even been at my present job for a year. W is also taking a job with the schools. The city has hired 80 new art teachers for elementary as they have never had an art program for the kids. This is so sad to me, yet not really surprising. Memphis (and possibly much of the south) has long had a lax attitude about education. Art is one of those things considered a luxury in education here. It should not be a luxury. Art fuels children's creativity, problem solving skills, and teaches them how to turn a "mistake" into a thing of beauty. It boosts children's self esteem as a "no rules" form of self expression. I am so excited to be going to a job where I will make a difference every day in my work. I am trying to be cautiously optimistic as I know that working for a system this large will have many many negatives. Memphis has the 13th largest school system in the nation, and it's one of the poorest cities as well(incidentally, it's mayor now in his 5th term, has voted himself so many pay increases that his salary is in the top five mayor's salaries, bigger than the mayor of Atlanta and Chicago, just to name two.) Many of these kids I'm about to go teach have never used paint, much less taken an art class. I hope I can weather this new change that W and I are about to go through. It will provide me with a better paycheck, more time off, and better benefits than my current job. I know it will be hard as changing jobs always is, but I will survive.
I hope you all are enjoying the fall weather. Memphis is having record breaking high temps this week. Sunday it was 95 degrees! I can't wait for cool weather to come. Here's a quick list that comes to mind that I will love about fall:
L
I hope you all are enjoying the fall weather. Memphis is having record breaking high temps this week. Sunday it was 95 degrees! I can't wait for cool weather to come. Here's a quick list that comes to mind that I will love about fall:
- glasses of red wine sipped on the front porch
- comforting bonfires in the fire pit in my back yard
- having the cool weather cause us to get all frisky
- carving pumpkins with my kids
- Halloween decorations!
- bowls of warm chili
- apple pies
- the yearly fall art festival that happens here, lovely art
- our own art show we will hold on Dec 1, my birthday
L
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Moving On
Memphis is a very divided town, most likely due to it's painful history during the civil right movement. Martin Luther King was killed in Memphis and we have not really ever gotten over it.
Just recently, we had a mayoral election here. The incumbant mayor is a black man who's been the mayor for 16 yrs. (can you say term limits) He used to be good at his job. I voted for him more than once. Memphis needs a black mayor. But not this one. He has a most horrible reputation for cocaine use, multiple children out of wedlock, taking money under the table, using city money to build huge new sports stadiums instead of putting it in the schools. We have the highest murder rate in the nation, we're the rape capitol of the country and this man got re-elected!!!?? He is most notorious for having conflict during city council meetings and asking people to take the fight outside, and for saying things during elections like "this election is all about race and power"
Now tell me, is this a good man to run this city? I am amazed that he was re-elected. Two other people were running against him, so he only got 41% of the vote. (there are no run off elections here). The apathy here is amazing because even with so much at stake, only about 42% of registered voters showed up to vote. I ask you, what is the problem. So yesterday, Friday, was a big let down to me. I was so hoping to wake up to a new mayor to help this city I love move forward to a more positive direction. The suburbs here are growing tremendously because everyone just wants out of the city due to the crime. If this city does not start changing for the better, we will be in trouble.
later,
L
Just recently, we had a mayoral election here. The incumbant mayor is a black man who's been the mayor for 16 yrs. (can you say term limits) He used to be good at his job. I voted for him more than once. Memphis needs a black mayor. But not this one. He has a most horrible reputation for cocaine use, multiple children out of wedlock, taking money under the table, using city money to build huge new sports stadiums instead of putting it in the schools. We have the highest murder rate in the nation, we're the rape capitol of the country and this man got re-elected!!!?? He is most notorious for having conflict during city council meetings and asking people to take the fight outside, and for saying things during elections like "this election is all about race and power"
Now tell me, is this a good man to run this city? I am amazed that he was re-elected. Two other people were running against him, so he only got 41% of the vote. (there are no run off elections here). The apathy here is amazing because even with so much at stake, only about 42% of registered voters showed up to vote. I ask you, what is the problem. So yesterday, Friday, was a big let down to me. I was so hoping to wake up to a new mayor to help this city I love move forward to a more positive direction. The suburbs here are growing tremendously because everyone just wants out of the city due to the crime. If this city does not start changing for the better, we will be in trouble.
later,
L
Friday, September 28, 2007
It's been a while.
I don't really know why I've waited so long to post. Yes, I have been busy, but really no more busy than usual. I have been shy about posting at work, and have had less time away from work to do it. Quite a lot has been going on with me. I will fill you in.
1. I heard about my city school district hiring a bunch of new art teachers, only requiring a BFA degree instead of the usual education degree. And best of all, they will pay for your certification.
2. I first though of W. She really is an amazing teacher, been doing it forever, just not in the public schools. hmmm. I said, health insurance, retirement, benefits.... she should do it.
3. I suggested, she agreed. She is now the official art teacher for a fine elementary school near our home.
4 Then, I though of myself. As you may know, I have been trying to decide what to do with my career. I thought of going back to school for a social work degree or going to nursing school.
5. I looked into it. I asked about 10 million people what they thought. This may be a little exaggeration here, but not much. That is how I make decisions, I ask everyone I know, and even some people I don't know. what they think.
6. I went to the school in question: very far away. very bad neighborhood. but: very nice principal. very nice kids for the 20 minutes that I was there.
7. I thought about the pros and cons:
PROS
CONS
I have decided to move to this new career and see where it takes me. I am afraid of another change, but I really am capable of embracing change and this one seems to be a fairly safe one. (I hope)
So, as you can see, I have been deep in decision making thought for the last 2-3 weeks. I am thrilled that W is taking the new job. She will be home by 2:30 and still pick up the boys every day. She needed the benefits as my 401K was not going to cut it for us later. And... most of all, she will be a brilliant teacher and impact a lot of kids this way, she has a boundless energy and love with children. I hope that I can be only half as good as she already is. I will get her to teach me. I will learn from the other teachers too. We are both starting new jobs at the same time.
I will hate to leave the company I'm with. They've been very good to me. but I do believe I will always wonder if I don't take this opportunity.
Wish me luck on this new and slightly scary change. I will be ok.
L
1. I heard about my city school district hiring a bunch of new art teachers, only requiring a BFA degree instead of the usual education degree. And best of all, they will pay for your certification.
2. I first though of W. She really is an amazing teacher, been doing it forever, just not in the public schools. hmmm. I said, health insurance, retirement, benefits.... she should do it.
3. I suggested, she agreed. She is now the official art teacher for a fine elementary school near our home.
4 Then, I though of myself. As you may know, I have been trying to decide what to do with my career. I thought of going back to school for a social work degree or going to nursing school.
- I knew I wanted a career with more flexible hours to be with my kids more (working 8-5:30 sucks when you have kids.).
- I knew I wanted to have a job where I did not feel as though I was moving a corporation to make more money, yet doing nothing to help people.
- I hate the corporate thing. stupid people. stupid meetings. doing stupid things.
- I knew I needed to make more money as I make very little now, barely enough to live from.
5. I looked into it. I asked about 10 million people what they thought. This may be a little exaggeration here, but not much. That is how I make decisions, I ask everyone I know, and even some people I don't know. what they think.
6. I went to the school in question: very far away. very bad neighborhood. but: very nice principal. very nice kids for the 20 minutes that I was there.
7. I thought about the pros and cons:
PROS
- more money.
- more time off.
- summers off with my kids.
- Christmas break with my kids.
- Spring break with my kids.
- Off at 3:30 every day.
- working with children who otherwise have never had an art curriculum.
- children who are sweet and may not get any positive people in their lives.
- kids who really need to be creative.
CONS
- it's yet another change for me. I have had three jobs in one year, moved, become the primary provider after being a stay home mom. , discovered I'm gay, and lost a lot of friends.
- It is far away in a neighborhood I'm not familiar with.
- I do not know if I'll be good at it
- I will probably suck at it the first year
I have decided to move to this new career and see where it takes me. I am afraid of another change, but I really am capable of embracing change and this one seems to be a fairly safe one. (I hope)
So, as you can see, I have been deep in decision making thought for the last 2-3 weeks. I am thrilled that W is taking the new job. She will be home by 2:30 and still pick up the boys every day. She needed the benefits as my 401K was not going to cut it for us later. And... most of all, she will be a brilliant teacher and impact a lot of kids this way, she has a boundless energy and love with children. I hope that I can be only half as good as she already is. I will get her to teach me. I will learn from the other teachers too. We are both starting new jobs at the same time.
I will hate to leave the company I'm with. They've been very good to me. but I do believe I will always wonder if I don't take this opportunity.
Wish me luck on this new and slightly scary change. I will be ok.
L
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Part 2: the good things in my life, because it's important to take the good with the bad
The Good things:
I held a fabulous party for W's birthday this last labor day weekend! We had all of our sassy straight friends over. (we have only one or two gay friends and one of them lives out of state) I grilled hot dogs for all the kids, and grilled flank steak and fish for tacos. I made a wonderful orzo and asparagus salad and my famous ramen noodle salad for side dishes.
Plenty of beer and wine was consumed, as was a new drink recipe for "Beer margaritas"
Then, I made this fabulous ice cream cake for dessert. I had made it for my youngest son's birthday and everyone loved it so much, I just had to do it again. I think it will be a tradition.
I think I will take a clue from titration and list 50 things that make me happy. I did have a rough week this week, but now I feel better and I want to remember the good things about my life, so here goes. and just for good measure, I want RSG and Nerdgirl to do this too, never tagged anyone before, but there must be a first time for everything.
50 things that make me happy!
sitting on my porch with a glass of wine
playing pigmania with my kids
a great cheese spread for crackers
coming up with a new idea for a recipe
beer margaritas!
air conditioning when it is 100+ degrees outside like here
the millions of tiny frogs in and around my pond, some of them no bigger than a cricket
the hummingbirds flying around my porch
good friends having good conversation
seeing new and wonderful art for the first time
seeing my own art collection and knowing at least I got that from my 13 yr marriage
seeing my youngest's missing front teeth
kissing his neck
knowing W and I are creating a great life/home together
talking about anything with her
good coffee
sushi
cinnamon chocolate cake from starbucks
going to church and seeing the goodness in people
hearing a baby or small child laugh (priceless)
hot showers
cold sheets in the winter
heavy blankets in the winter
snuggling with W
the smell of old musty attics (weird maybe)
rainy afternoons and mornings
thunder
urban gardens
the smell of grilling
fireplaces
fall after the hot hot summer here
beaches at dusk
grilled seafood
Indian food
Thai food
a big glass of sweet tea
a freshly sharpened pencil
new art supplies
art paper with the perfect tooth on it
riding in a boat (something i don't do often enough)
roller coasters
hot tubs
hotels
traveling almost anywhere
trying new food
a great movie
looking at pictures of my kids
reading a great book
I held a fabulous party for W's birthday this last labor day weekend! We had all of our sassy straight friends over. (we have only one or two gay friends and one of them lives out of state) I grilled hot dogs for all the kids, and grilled flank steak and fish for tacos. I made a wonderful orzo and asparagus salad and my famous ramen noodle salad for side dishes.
Plenty of beer and wine was consumed, as was a new drink recipe for "Beer margaritas"
Then, I made this fabulous ice cream cake for dessert. I had made it for my youngest son's birthday and everyone loved it so much, I just had to do it again. I think it will be a tradition.
I think I will take a clue from titration and list 50 things that make me happy. I did have a rough week this week, but now I feel better and I want to remember the good things about my life, so here goes. and just for good measure, I want RSG and Nerdgirl to do this too, never tagged anyone before, but there must be a first time for everything.
50 things that make me happy!
sitting on my porch with a glass of wine
playing pigmania with my kids
a great cheese spread for crackers
coming up with a new idea for a recipe
beer margaritas!
air conditioning when it is 100+ degrees outside like here
the millions of tiny frogs in and around my pond, some of them no bigger than a cricket
the hummingbirds flying around my porch
good friends having good conversation
seeing new and wonderful art for the first time
seeing my own art collection and knowing at least I got that from my 13 yr marriage
seeing my youngest's missing front teeth
kissing his neck
knowing W and I are creating a great life/home together
talking about anything with her
good coffee
sushi
cinnamon chocolate cake from starbucks
going to church and seeing the goodness in people
hearing a baby or small child laugh (priceless)
hot showers
cold sheets in the winter
heavy blankets in the winter
snuggling with W
the smell of old musty attics (weird maybe)
rainy afternoons and mornings
thunder
urban gardens
the smell of grilling
fireplaces
fall after the hot hot summer here
beaches at dusk
grilled seafood
Indian food
Thai food
a big glass of sweet tea
a freshly sharpened pencil
new art supplies
art paper with the perfect tooth on it
riding in a boat (something i don't do often enough)
roller coasters
hot tubs
hotels
traveling almost anywhere
trying new food
a great movie
looking at pictures of my kids
reading a great book
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
I have had a few rough days lately. I know it's been a while since I've posted, but I've been dealing with some bad things, some good things and some "just busy" things.
Let's say the bad first to get it over with. This will likely be so long that my good things will be in another post, but don't worry stay with me here:
a sense of humor here --->
My mother, who is quite naughty (and I don't mean that in the cutesy nice way) has been up to more of her awfulness.
Some of you may know about how she called me about a month ago, saying she was depressed and felt like dying and it was all because of lil' ole me, and my sister of course. She said it had all come to her and that she knew there was some reason I had gotten a divorce, and now she knows why.... asked if me and W have a sexual relationship. I, being quite taken back by this 76 yr old woman asking me this, said.. "umm.. no, we are just best friends" She continued to nail me to the wall saying she felt like she was going to die, what a disgrace it was, my dad would turn over in his grave, she never raised me that way, I knew what God said about that, etc etc.. You get the picture. Needless to say, she did not believe me. She even said that if I did not bring my children to see her, she would call my x and ask him if all this was true. Also, just for good measure, she stated that what my sister and I had "done" to her about her money was also a reason why she was going crazy.
Anyway, all of this lawyer crap happened with my mother this week, my sister has been calling me hashing it over, meanwhile my sister does not know I am gay or even that W lives with me, I am not telling the sister anytime soon because she lives in another town, we are not close at all, and she's a right wing fundamentalist. She even sent me an email bashing a new book that talks about gays and lesbians being born that way to prove it.
I've talked to my therapist - she does NOT think I need to tell my mom at all, and not my sister any. time. soon. What good does it do to tell someone when they canNOT accept it. they both will just use it against me to shame me, hurt me, make me feel bad... so for now, I do not tell.
Whew! that was long. If you are still reading, take a break and get a drink.
Anyway, it is all going ok for now, my mom will soon blow through the rest of her money which was barely enough to take care of her anyway, and I have to decide how or if to respond to this lawyer thing with her. I do not like being sued... my XH did it to me after our divorce was final. I am technically not being sued but it is close. My mother has probably taken me off the will for all I know, that is ok, but how do I talk to her about it, or deal with it. My kids know none of her abusivness or bad behavior and I don't know how to tell them that we won't be going there for christmas.
Let's say the bad first to get it over with. This will likely be so long that my good things will be in another post, but don't worry stay with me here:
a sense of humor here --->
My mother, who is quite naughty (and I don't mean that in the cutesy nice way) has been up to more of her awfulness.
Some of you may know about how she called me about a month ago, saying she was depressed and felt like dying and it was all because of lil' ole me, and my sister of course. She said it had all come to her and that she knew there was some reason I had gotten a divorce, and now she knows why.... asked if me and W have a sexual relationship. I, being quite taken back by this 76 yr old woman asking me this, said.. "umm.. no, we are just best friends" She continued to nail me to the wall saying she felt like she was going to die, what a disgrace it was, my dad would turn over in his grave, she never raised me that way, I knew what God said about that, etc etc.. You get the picture. Needless to say, she did not believe me. She even said that if I did not bring my children to see her, she would call my x and ask him if all this was true. Also, just for good measure, she stated that what my sister and I had "done" to her about her money was also a reason why she was going crazy.
To explain: about 3 yrs ago, mother dear used up approximately 1/3rd of her and my dad's life savings to buy a bunch of QVC crap that she did not need. All this time, my dad was dying in a nursing home, my mother was spending about $1000 a month over and above her expenses on QVC. My sister and I figured this out, and moved the rest of her life savings into an account with our names on it, and gave her enough to live on comfortably so that she could not waste the rest of their money and that we could save for her so she would not be destitute. (my mother has a long history of addictions. valium for about 25 yrs, cheesecake (2 or 3 a week at times, and now spending at QVC, a call in shopping network)) My sister and my mother do not talk, so I had to be the only person who communicated with both of them. Sounds sick and screwed up huh? It is. My sister was consistantly hateful and mean to my mother, even telling her that we were NOT going to give her back her money because she was not responsible (which was true, mind you, but my sister has no tact with anyone, much less our abusive mother) SO, my mother went to a lawyer and sent my sister a certified letter telling her to give back all of her money.
Anyway, all of this lawyer crap happened with my mother this week, my sister has been calling me hashing it over, meanwhile my sister does not know I am gay or even that W lives with me, I am not telling the sister anytime soon because she lives in another town, we are not close at all, and she's a right wing fundamentalist. She even sent me an email bashing a new book that talks about gays and lesbians being born that way to prove it.
I've talked to my therapist - she does NOT think I need to tell my mom at all, and not my sister any. time. soon. What good does it do to tell someone when they canNOT accept it. they both will just use it against me to shame me, hurt me, make me feel bad... so for now, I do not tell.
Whew! that was long. If you are still reading, take a break and get a drink.
Anyway, it is all going ok for now, my mom will soon blow through the rest of her money which was barely enough to take care of her anyway, and I have to decide how or if to respond to this lawyer thing with her. I do not like being sued... my XH did it to me after our divorce was final. I am technically not being sued but it is close. My mother has probably taken me off the will for all I know, that is ok, but how do I talk to her about it, or deal with it. My kids know none of her abusivness or bad behavior and I don't know how to tell them that we won't be going there for christmas.
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