Let's say the bad first to get it over with. This will likely be so long that my good things will be in another post, but don't worry stay with me here:
a sense of humor here --->
My mother, who is quite naughty (and I don't mean that in the cutesy nice way) has been up to more of her awfulness.
Some of you may know about how she called me about a month ago, saying she was depressed and felt like dying and it was all because of lil' ole me, and my sister of course. She said it had all come to her and that she knew there was some reason I had gotten a divorce, and now she knows why.... asked if me and W have a sexual relationship. I, being quite taken back by this 76 yr old woman asking me this, said.. "umm.. no, we are just best friends" She continued to nail me to the wall saying she felt like she was going to die, what a disgrace it was, my dad would turn over in his grave, she never raised me that way, I knew what God said about that, etc etc.. You get the picture. Needless to say, she did not believe me. She even said that if I did not bring my children to see her, she would call my x and ask him if all this was true. Also, just for good measure, she stated that what my sister and I had "done" to her about her money was also a reason why she was going crazy.
To explain: about 3 yrs ago, mother dear used up approximately 1/3rd of her and my dad's life savings to buy a bunch of QVC crap that she did not need. All this time, my dad was dying in a nursing home, my mother was spending about $1000 a month over and above her expenses on QVC. My sister and I figured this out, and moved the rest of her life savings into an account with our names on it, and gave her enough to live on comfortably so that she could not waste the rest of their money and that we could save for her so she would not be destitute. (my mother has a long history of addictions. valium for about 25 yrs, cheesecake (2 or 3 a week at times, and now spending at QVC, a call in shopping network)) My sister and my mother do not talk, so I had to be the only person who communicated with both of them. Sounds sick and screwed up huh? It is. My sister was consistantly hateful and mean to my mother, even telling her that we were NOT going to give her back her money because she was not responsible (which was true, mind you, but my sister has no tact with anyone, much less our abusive mother) SO, my mother went to a lawyer and sent my sister a certified letter telling her to give back all of her money.
Anyway, all of this lawyer crap happened with my mother this week, my sister has been calling me hashing it over, meanwhile my sister does not know I am gay or even that W lives with me, I am not telling the sister anytime soon because she lives in another town, we are not close at all, and she's a right wing fundamentalist. She even sent me an email bashing a new book that talks about gays and lesbians being born that way to prove it.
I've talked to my therapist - she does NOT think I need to tell my mom at all, and not my sister any. time. soon. What good does it do to tell someone when they canNOT accept it. they both will just use it against me to shame me, hurt me, make me feel bad... so for now, I do not tell.
Whew! that was long. If you are still reading, take a break and get a drink.
Anyway, it is all going ok for now, my mom will soon blow through the rest of her money which was barely enough to take care of her anyway, and I have to decide how or if to respond to this lawyer thing with her. I do not like being sued... my XH did it to me after our divorce was final. I am technically not being sued but it is close. My mother has probably taken me off the will for all I know, that is ok, but how do I talk to her about it, or deal with it. My kids know none of her abusivness or bad behavior and I don't know how to tell them that we won't be going there for christmas.
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