I have thought about this some lately. For those of you who do not know my story, I came from a 14 year typical marriage, two boys, a dog, a house in very upscale area here in the city I live in. I had a best friend who happened to be gay. My H knew it, loved her to death, we both did. I spent time every day with her as I was a stay home mom, and she worked from her home. We were meeting each other's emotional needs for years and didn't realize it. She was with her partner of 13+ yrs who did not really acknowledge their relationship as valid, to others or herself. Any way when I kissed her one night and my life changes forever in that second, I didn't stop to think about my identity or if I'd fit in in a lesbian social scene, etc. That self discovery and questioning came over the next 3-4 months in hell therapy.
I wondered at first what she would be: my partner? too formal. My wife? yes, better, but still not acceptable to society? Girlfriend, No way! That sounds like something you do in high school, teenyboppers and class rings.
I wanted to write a post about our names for each other. What do you call her? Your partner, wife or girlfriend? or other? And what do you call her when no one else is around? Sweetie, Pooky, Baby? Feel free to elaborate on the special names you have for her.
Please answer this question with the name you call her to the world, and your pet names you use in private. I get to be a voyer to your lives in this post. I can't wait to hear our funny little names we call each other. For me, I sometimes call her Baby, and I'm working on finding another one that's more original.... hmm.. I know one will come out that fits her.
7 comments:
I call her my partner. It fits us, for some reason. And it gives a level of commitment beyond just dating, but we've never been comfortable with "wife."
At home, and often even in public, I call her honey a lot. Her cat also gets called kitty. Sometimes I'll call her babe, too.
We say partner to others and I will call her my wife or wifey-poo when I talk to her.
I pretty much call her whatever I'm feeling- honey, sweetie, baby, sexy, hottie, you name it, I've probably said it:)
Befoe we split it was Baby. And sometimes BAAAAAAAAAAbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. *sigh*
I use both wife and partner. At home, with our families, with our friends, or in lesbian social gatherings it's wife. At work, it's partner. I my heart, she IS my wife, as I am hers. I'm not sure why I chose to go with partner at work, even though I'm totally out.
As for pet names, it's usually the standard honey, babe, sweets or sweetie. Mostly babe or sweets. One private name too, that I swore to her I'd never share with anyone outside of immediate family. It's not bad or inappropriate, just private.
m,
partner seems to be the most acceptable to the public.
what do you mean, her cat is called kitty? we use "kitty" to talk about our private parts.. Ha! I thought that was original, but now I'm thinking we're not the only ones.
aj,
yeah, i use different names in private, not one of them has "stuck" yet.
kelly,
Awww...
sassy,
Yes, I feel W is my wife, but have yet to use that word in public. We don't have hardly any lesbian friends, so havent' gotten to call her that.
I am not Out at work yet. Would like to be, but must take it slow.
eventually will call her partner i guess
thanks ya'll for weighing in on this, it interesting I think,
didn't hear from RSG yet, where are you RSG?
All you lurkers out there, give me a shout out. would love to know what city you are from. I get visitors from Germantown, please say something. weigh in on this, please.
I hope you don't criticize me for being a late in life lesbian. (My blog explains all: http://kdcleve.blogspot.com/
but I call my sweetheart "hunny bunny," "little baby" and "princess." She calls me "big baby" "darling" and "honey." We have been together for ten years and are more in love than ever. I had three (count 'em: 3) marriages to the wrong person before I met joy. Kathryn in Saint Petersburg FL.
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