Well, I know it's been a while since I posted. I, as you can guess have been busy. I have felt very weird and vulnerable lately. I know this job was a blessing, (since my old job is now disolved) and it will turn out in the end, but all of the hoops I've had to jump through have been a little much. I am amazed at the amount of paperwork one must fill out for the government. It is such overkill. I spent 6 hours on Monday night just filling out forms for my upcoming evaluation. And I'm not finished. And I will have to fill out more when I'm done being evaluated. And I will be evaluated 2 more times before May. I am making it through this maze, but barely I feel. I sort of have a dark and heavy feeling about me right now and can't explain why.
There are multiple "irons in the fire" as they say. This is just one of many worries.
here are a few:
money worries since we are paying college tuition x 2 (we've been eating chicken noodle soup for days waiting for a pay check)
it's bitter cold here and I'm worried my heater will go out and I'll have no money to fix it
I'm worried I can't save money for the summer
I have to wait in line at the local school board to try to get my son #2 into a new school (more hoops)
we're both taking a college course
I feel really fat
I can't find time to exercise
I'm worried about my van breaking down
I have 2 classes at school that are more like guarding a prison than teaching. no teaching takes place. (this item could be elaborated on later. It is a really big and sad problem with no solution. depressing. scary. )
I have not made a single friend at my school and I really need one
taxes are coming up
I'm worried my ex will try to re-calculate my child support
I feel like I look so old
anyway... this is a very disjointed post, I know. It is just a brainstorm, because that's what my brain is like lately, a storm. I just need to talk to someone and do have some friends. but they are busy. and I don't want to call them and complain.
maybe some medication is in order??
later,
L
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3 comments:
Ooo. Wow that is a ton. You can do it though! As in make it through. And just tell yourself that winter is always a bit harder.
Oh girl, I am sorry. There is nothing worse than money worries and feeling threatened. I'm sure that you are super beautiful and not fat at ALL, so put that out of your pretty head immediately.
Sometimes we must sit in the darkness to fully appreciate a sunrise.
Hang on, it will be okay.
Lori, teaching is hard and coming in after the start of the year is harder. My best advice for your two hard classes: get them engaged, asap. I have learned the hard way that the very least effective thing I can do as a teacher is stand in front of a room full of kids and tell them to be quiet over and over.
Have them hit the ground running as soon as they come in. Assign seats. Don't let anyone get up for any reason. Move through the room as they work, praising lavishly. Deal with each misbehaving student individually, from close range. I guarantee you this will show a vast improvement immediately.
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